Two days after my husband deployed, I found out I was pregnant. I was filled with so many mixed emotions. I was excited to be a mommy again, but remembered how sick I was with Emma (I practically lived at the hospital), and was overwhelmed by the thought of going through all that alone. I was also scared of miscarrying while he was gone. I debated on whether or not to tell my husband. I wanted him to have a clear head while he was deployed, and thought that if he knew I was having a baby, he might get too distracted, and worry about whether or not I was okay. My husband has a way of getting to me. The morning of his deployment, I bought a home pregnancy test, but didn’t take it until after he left. After him BEGGING for me to tell him the results, I finally caved and sent him a picture of my positive result. His roommate saw the text over my husband’s shoulder and said, “Congrats man.” My husband said he was so beyond happy, which definitely showed by the giant smile on his face when we skyped later that day.
It took several days for my husband to get to his final deployment destination (since his team is still there, I won’t say where that destination is). About a week after being there, he sent me a text that said he needed to go talk to his supervisor, but not to worry because he wasn’t in trouble. A few hours later, he sent me a text that said, “I may be coming home. I’ll call you soon.”
My husband called and told me he had an anxiety attack, and that they took his weapon. He talked to me about everything that was on his mind and cried because he missed Emma and I . Once he let it all out, he said he felt better, and was going to ask his supervisor if he could stay. They sent him to talk to a chaplain and mental health, and was given his weapon back, but the commander of that base said it would be best for my husband to come home.
A few days later, my husband called me and told me he was at an air terminal on his way home, but it would take a few days for him to get here. I was so excited to have my him home, but couldn’t stop worrying about what would happen when he got back. If my husband couldn’t deploy, the Air Force wouldn’t have a need for him anymore. What would we do if they kicked him out? We’re about to have another baby. Where were we going to live? How were we going to provide for our family? Will we have health insurance when this baby is born? So much stress hit me all at once, but the thing that had been stressing me to the core was finally being taken away. My husband was coming home.
When I picked my husband up from his squadron, I was so excited to see him. With Emma in my arms, I ran across the parking lot to hug him. It was so nice to be able to feel his arms around me again. He put his bags in the car, then we went into his squadron so his First Shirt and former supervisor could talk to him about the plan for what happened next. My husband would attend mandatory weekly counseling, and would work at the squadron, rather than returning to the visitor’s center or going to work on flight again.
Its been 2 months since my husband came home, and he is doing much better. He’s seeing the same therapist that he saw after he was released from Laurel Ridge (a psychiatric treatment facility) last year. He will be going through a full med board once his therapist comes up with a final diagnosis, and my husband will be getting medically discharged. We don’t know when this will be happening, but are ready to begin the next chapter of our lives. It was all pretty scary at first, but it is all part of God’s plan.